I need an emoji keyboard for life

Do you ever find yourself wishing you could just insert an emoji into a conversation you are having out loud so that people understand where you are in your mind?  It would make communicating so much easier.  Just have a little thought bubble above your head that properly explains what you are thinking. 

Example:
You are trying to explain a simple process to someone who just is not understanding.  It doesn't matter how many times you explain it, or how you change the words.  Use a picture, diagram, video clip, etc.  This person just doesn't understand.  Insert thought bubble emoji...

Here's the catch.  You can't get in trouble for your thought bubble emojis!  It isn't your fault if an emoji pops out, and people get the added benefit of knowing just how close your homicidal meter is to going off! 

Today, I needed an emoji thought bubble.  I had to remind myself several times that prison isn't really conducive to my love of travel and death row would really put a damper on my plans to go to Belize in October.

If you had an visible emoji thought bubble, what would be the most common emoji to appear?  Mine would look a bit like this cool sunglasses dude. 

Side note and completely unrelated.  How do you keep your feet from stinking when you wear sandals?  *gag*